Tim Grover is the CEO of Attack Athletics and the creator of The Relentless System.
Tim is the owner of a training center called Attack Athletics and most known for being Michael Jordan’s personal trainer for 15 years. He also trained Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, and other elite athletes. His most famous book is called Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable.
Learn more about Tim Grover’s career and his products at timgrover.com.
Forget everything that you know about getting to the top. The relentless mindset will teach you how to get from good to great to unstoppable.
The Relentless System is a blueprint for mental toughness and unstoppable results. Tim Grover has taught it for the last 25 years to some of the best athletes in the world such as Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Dwyane Wade. He taught them how to think, how to compete, how to handle pressure, and what drives them to excel again and again. His entire career, these athletes have been trusting Tim with their success – if he could do it for them, he can do it for you.
Tim Grover’s first professional client was Michael Jordan in 1989. As the greatest player in the NBA, he knew he needed to get stronger. Michael took a chance on Tim and gave him 30 days to show results. Those 30 days turned into 15 years. Then he worked with other Hall of Famers like Scottie Pippen, Charles Barkley, Hakeem Olajuwon, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, and hundreds of other elite athletes.
Tim Grover has both knowledge and experience which come from having access to these world-class athletes for decades to the part of their lives that nobody else was able to see. Tim Grover was with his athletes through their highs and lows! He has asked them every possible question that you want to ask.
The question is – what would you give to sit with the most exceptional competitors of your life such as Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Muhammed Ali, Roger Federer, Floyd Mayweather, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Tiger Woods, and Larry Bird and ask them anything without any cameras of filters?
That is precisely what Tim Grover did, and he is prepared to share the answers with you! Tim was not fortunate; he was relentless about getting things done. He still approaches everything he does the same way because no matter how good you are, you can always do more. YOU MUST DO MORE!
“Excellence is not about how you perform; it is about how you think that allows you to perform.” – Tim Grover
Tim Grover’s Relentless System is about:
- How to think, not what to think
- Exposing weaknesses and turning them into your strengths
- Having an elite mindset because skills are worthless without mental toughness to put them in action
Leave everything else behind and keep going. When you are relentless, the only name that matters is yours. You do not compete with other »celebrities.« It’s not about others; it’s about you. It’s about taking yourself to the level that only a few people can achieve and owning the mindset that makes everything possible. Capture other people’s hearts and do not let go – step on their throats and kill the competition.
Real success is repeated many times – it’s not just about winning once.
Passion and inner drive are NOTHING without a relentless action that follows. Being relentless is not something you are born with. You have to learn it – work for it! It can be taught and learned.
If you are good, you can be great. If you are great, you can be unstoppable. There is always the next level. No matter what anyone says, you can still improve.
The relentless system works for any aspect of your life – it can work for you in sports, business, people who are just starting out, and people who are already great at it!
You will have more in common with the world’s greatest athletes that you think. The most exceptional competitors are everyday people competing in the real world without guaranteed contracts and scheduled games.
A pro athlete has a game schedule and a plan for every opponent. He knows who he will be facing every game for the entire season. You do not know who you will be facing every day, year after year. Your gameplan must be adapted; your season does not have an opening day or the last game. It has 365 individual championships, and you have to play them all year after year. There are no off days.
Demand more of yourself than anyone else would ever demand of you.
Trust your instincts, never be satisfied, and embrace the dark side to get what you want.
Tim Grover does not believe in the pretty talk. He talks to everyone the way he talks to his pro athletes. It is about serious talk for serious people. If you come to Tim, you are ready to hear the truth about what drives you and what holds you back. He will help to remove the anchor that keeps you down with a new mindset and by removing your fears.
How COMMITTED are you to getting to the NEXT LEVEL?
- I know what I want to achieve and I have a plan.
- That is great but never stop finding ways to push yourself. Tim Grover is not a motivational guy because MOTIVATION IS THE ENTRY LEVEL for people who have not decided what they want yet. Tim Grover’s clients are already motivated and know exactly what they want when they come to him.
- If you are here, you are already motivated.
- Motivation is like a SUGAR HIGH – someone gets you excited, but an hour later you crash back down because you cannot sustain it on your own.
- Motivational people will get you fired up for a little while, but you will not stay in that emotional state.
- Motivation does not work if someone else is controlling the flame. IT HAS TO COME FROM WITHIN YOURSELF.
- You will learn how to listen to your instincts inside you and take action on them.
- Somewhat motivated. I know what I want, but I’m not sure what to do.
- I’m confused.
How talented are you in the field you are pursuing?
- Extremely talented
- Somewhat talented and I’m working on getting better
- Not really talented but I think I can learn
That is a trick question!
Tim Grover knows that talent is NOT the same as success.
The world is full of incredibly talented people that never succeed at anything because they have no mental skills to match their talent. They get caught up in fears and excuses while blaming others for their failures that they never come close to achieving anything.
Michael Jordan was not the best because of his physical attributes but because he understood there is always the next level and always a way to improve.
Talent can help, but it does not guarantee success. Improvement is not comfortable or easy. In the office, people sell the same products, get the same training, and work in the same environment, but somehow some people are a lot more successful than others.
How to get better every day? It’s all about the mindset, what you think, the result that you crave, and execution.
Stop listening what everyone else says about your dreams and goals. It’s none of their business. If you are truly relentless:
- There is no halfways
- There are no baby steps
- There is no second-guessing
- There are NO LIMITS
Permit yourself to be who you really are. Stop thinking whether the glass is half full or half empty. If you like what is in the glass, add more. If you don’t, pour it out and start over.
“The time is now; there is no time to waste.” – Tim Grover
Are you a cleaner?
The cleaner you are, the dirtier you get.
In sports and business, everyone talks about the closer who gets the deal done and wins the game. Closers do what they are supposed to do when they have to, and people think they are the best.
Tim Grover also thought the same way until the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona where he had the opportunity of being there with the original dream team. Even though all of the players there were considered to be world-class Hall of Famers, Michael Jordan was still on a different level than all of them. Michael was not just a closer, he cleaned up the game and took responsibility for everything.
He faced every challenged with the words “I own this.”
A cleaner is not defined by greatness. That title is reserved for people who do not even settle for legendary. They are not only the best; they are the best EVER because they succeed again and again. Everything is about the end result.
These lessons apply everywhere – there are cleaner CEO’s, entrepreneurs, salespeople, teachers, actors, politicians, NAVY SEAL’s, and community workers.
Cleaners do not see problems – they see situations to control. They are never satisfied because as soon as they reach the top, they are looking for more. They also always finish what they start no matter how long it takes. Cleaners finish the fight even if it takes weeks, months or even years. They never forget unfinished business.
Cleaners always get what they want and pay for it in solitude because excellence is lonely – no one will ever know how hard they worked to be that good. They are addicted to success which is why they are very rare and elite. This has nothing to do with skills. Having a successful moment (closing a deal or having a great game) does not make you a cleaner. That makes you successful for a day. However, cleaners are successful every day.
Other people want to celebrate achievements – the cleaner says “Done. Next.”
There are three types of competitors:
- Wait to be told what to do and follow directions
- Hesitate before acting
- Fit into the crowd and dislike calling attention to themselves
- Don’t take sides or make decisions
- Avoid pressure and controversy
- Fit into the plan, but they are not playmakers
- Are good at what they do and very satisfied with their results
- Enjoy celebrating the success with others
- Get the job done when you give them the plan
- Possess exceptional skills and talent
- Study the game plan, but they are uncomfortable when something unpredictable happens
- Are content knowing they are one of the best (not the same as being THE best)
- Deal with pressure but avoid taking responsibility when things go wrong
- Seek attention and credit
- Love the rewards of success and would choose financial security over winning
- Coolers have a good game, closers have a great season, and cleaners have an unstoppable career.
- Coolers run from confrontation, closers fight your battles if you give them the plan, and cleaners start wars and finish them with a victory.
- Coolers take no risks, closers take risks when they know there is a limited chance for failure, and cleaners do not worry about risks – whatever happens, they will figure it out.
- Coolers read the story, closers tell the story, and cleaners change the story.
- Coolers eat what you feed them, closers order what they want and feel satisfied with a great meal, and it does not matter what a cleaner eats because he will be hungry in an hour.
- Coolers are good, closers are great, and cleaners are unstoppable.
While a closer can close the deal, a cleaner creates the opportunity. A cooler can make the winning shot but only of the cleaner puts him into the situation. A cleaner does not need a kick in the ass like everyone else because he does the kicking.
Are you currently a:
- Cooler – you have more to achieve, and you can learn to be relentless!
- Closer – you know there is another level, and you can learn to be relentless.
- Cleaner – real cleaners never think of themselves that way because they are never satisfied. Most people think they are a cleaner until they see how hard it is to get there and stay there.
The Relentless 13
There are 13 traits to remind you there is no such thing as luck. Luck is an excuse when things do not go their way. Saying “Good luck” to Tim Grover is an insult because it signals that you need something external because you are not good enough on your own. Every trait on the list is number 1 because otherwise, people think that number 12 is less important than number 3. Everything is equally important, and you can do them in any order.
You go HARDER when everyone else has had enough.
- A cooler wonders what is going to happen, a closer watches things happen, and a cleaner makes things happen.
- Tim Grover expects three things from an athlete that he works with – show up, work hard, and listen. That takes no talent. When did working hard become a skill? Everyone can do those three things every single day no matter what the situation is. Do not write in resumes that you are a hard worker – you are supposed to be a hard worker and not expect that to be a special trait just like you are supposed to be here on time and listen.
- Believe you are the best and prove it over and over again every single day. If what you did yesterday still looks good today you have not done enough today.
- It is easy to make excuses – “I did not get enough sleep, the dog was barking, my kids are sick, my back hurts…” There are a lot of people who can do exactly what you can do, and the only way to separate yourself from them is your driving desire to go harder than anyone else.
- Do not stay up late just to say that you stayed up late – make those hours count. Make 20 extra calls when everyone else left, a hundred extra free throws. You do not need a clock to tell you when you are done. You decide when you are done. You are never really done.
- Your value as a person is measured by your commitment, persistence, and the instinctive power of the muscle in your chest – your heart.
- Understand what you want and what you are willing to do to get it.
- To train like the best you must commit to the highest level of intensity in everything you do, constantly working on your skills, preparation, and leaving NO detail to chance. That should not be done when it’s convenient – you must live like that all the time. Train your mind to go harder than anyone else. Physical dominance makes you great, but mental dominance makes you unstoppable.
You go into the ZONE and control the uncontrollable.
- A cooler gets everyone else cranked up and emotional before the game, a closer gets himself cranked up and emotional before the game, and a cleaner never gets cranked up or emotional. He stays cool and saves it all for game time.
- Ever feel like something else takes over, and you do not remember what happened, you just know that you did an amazing job? That happens when you are in the zone.
You know EXACTLY who you are.
- A cooler tries to be someone he is not, a closer adjusts his personality to the situation, and a cleaner does not want to be anyone else. He is who he is.
- We are all born bad and taught to be good. Stop doing the same things and expecting a different result. We were born relentless and taught to relent.
- You cannot argue with a baby. A baby screams until all of his needs are met.
- When we teach our children what is right and wrong, we throw away all that natural energy, intuition, and instincts.
- At one point, we stopped doing what was natural and start behaving Can you recall a time when you were not taught limitations and compliance when you were not worried what others think about you? Those needs and instincts are still there. That is your dark side. A lion stocks its prey catches it and kills it because that is what lions do. When you put lions in a ZOO, those things are still there waiting for someone to make a mistake and face them. If you do not believe Tim Grover, then step into a cage with a hungry lion to see what happens.
- Most people are just like lions in a cage, but the cage is made out of bad advice, low self-esteem, and made up rules that do not serve them. They are locking themselves in a cage by overthinking and overanalyzing all the things that could go wrong. If you do this long enough, you might forget about your instincts that are waiting for you to get out of the cage.
- “To get what you want you must first become who you truly are.” – Tim Grover
- Reinvest in who you are not who others think you should be. Everything that you need to be successful is already inside of you because you are completely wired will all the instincts that are designed for your success.
- Instincts and talent are not enough. You still need to learn all the skills, or you will be like a teenage racing an elite race car. Skills that match your talent can only develop by learning. Learning is not about lessons while throwing away what comes naturally. Learn everything you can and then make it fit with your strengths.
- Stop thinking. Stop waiting. You already know what to do. When you are great, you trust your instincts. When you are unstoppable, your instincts trust you.
You have a DARK SIDE that refuses to be taught to be good.
- A cooler tries to fight his dark side and loses, a closer acknowledges his dark side but is not able to control, and a cleaner harnesses his dark side into raw, controllable power.
- Born bad and taught to be good. Welcome to your dark side. Deep inside of us, there is an undeniable force driving our actions. The part of us that refuses to be ordinary. The piece that stays raw and untamed – your killer instincts that you keep hidden when you crave things you are not supposed to talk about. You cannot change that. No matter what you learn, the basic you will stay the same. He is not good or bad. He possesses the instincts that know what you want and are driving you to get it. Money, fame, sex, power, and success.
- Think about the things you do not want anyone to know about you. Your secrets, the maneuvers that have helped you along the way, your desires, greed, ego, and the lust for things you are not supposed to have.
- All of that is your dark side, and it is the essential link for getting in the zone. The dark side does not need to be sick, criminal or evil. Imagine a superhero that is fighting for what is right, but a Superman still has secrets that people do not know about him.
- Your dark side can be your greatest strength or your worst nightmare.
- Do you want to drink or do you have to drink? Is your sex life so out of control that it affects your productivity and concentration in other areas?
- Anytime you have an internal struggle about what you want versus what you think is right, that is your dark side, your demons that you are fighting with. Demons never get tired. They will fight you all the time, and they know all the ways of fighting. Embrace them and fight alongside them to stay in control because this is 100% about control.
- Most people associate darkness with unhappiness and pain, but in reality, it gives you the most pleasure. A cleaner will not let go of his dark side for anyone!
- Tim Grover does not care how much you drink, smoke or lose in Las Vegas as long as it works for you and does not create other consequences that would get in your way.
- Tim Grover will not tell his athletes to stop drinking if they enjoy it unless it starts affecting their performance.
- A cleaner does not care what anyone else thinks about him, his dark side or anything else. The only pressure he feels is the pressure he puts on himself, and he can never get enough pressure!
You are NOT INTIMIDATED by pressure; you THRIVE on it.
- A cooler will not put himself in pressure situations, a closer can step up when something is on the line and deliver in a pressure situation, and for a cleaner, every moment is a pressure situation, and everything is always on the line.
- Everyone is always excited about the guy who makes the game-winning He may have done nothing for the entire game and then become a hero because of that moment. They get to be called “clutch,” and it is the highest compliment that most athletes receive. To Tim Grover that is not a compliment. Tim wants to know where you were the entire game before that shot! If you are really good when it comes to important games, what happened to all the other games? Why are you not as solid and aggressive all the time?
- Truly relentless people do not just work when there is drama, and the stakes are high.
- Clutch is about the last minute, and relentless is about every minute. Cleaners create opportunities that increase the pressure higher and higher!
- Most people are afraid of high-pressure situations because they fear that the fall of the high-pressure will kill them. They will not even try to make the game-winning shot because if they make it, they will have to keep making it. They will be expected to perform at that level. It is easier to stay in the comfort zone with minimal expectations, minimal pressure, and minimal results because they are safe there. Cleaners crave that pressure. As soon as they stop, they feel like they are slacking.
- Cleaners do not like relaxing days or even minutes. Relaxing situations stress them because they keep thinking about all the things they could be doing.
- Everyone is built to handle pressure and the ability to handle extreme challenges.
- If somebody tells you he cannot do something, ask them if they would do it for a million dollars. Most of the time the answer is yes.
- “Pressure is a privilege.” When someone puts you in a pressure situation, it means they believe in you. They are giving you an opportunity to do something extraordinary.
- Do not try to get rid of stress. Stress is just pressure you do not want to handle. The more you deal with it, the better you get at it because you realize what you are capable of handling.
- The payoff is worth it. Get out of that comfort zone, get out of the shade. Feel the pressure and fight the urge to run from it. Like Michael Jordan said “Go get some on ya. Go get dirty.”
- When everyone hits the “in case of emergency” button, they are all LOOKING FOR YOU.
- A cooler waits for the plan, a closer works on the plan, studies it, memorizes it, and understands what he has to do, and a cleaner does not want a certain plan. He wants every possible option available to him at all times. Tim Grover is never the first call that anyone makes. Tim is the last call when everyone else fails them. After everyone else tried to handle the situation but they realized they couldn’t, that is when they come looking for you. In most cases, you knew this was coming, and you just watched and waited. Now they will look at you managing a situation that seems unmanageable.
- There is no plan B. Plan B means you had a good plan A and everything else is not as good. If you are competing at the top, you better make plan A work.
- If Tim Grover replaces a program, that program must be better than the original. Your second plan A must be better than the first. Whatever happens, does not matter because you need to adjust and keep moving forward.
- There is a huge difference between arrogance and confidence. Arrogance is the inability to admit when something is not working and repeating the same mistakes over and over because you are too stubborn to admit you are wrong. Confidence is the ability to recognize something is not working and having the flexibility, knowledge, and guts to make adjustments.
- Being relentless means saying “I’m going for it and if I’m wrong I’ll figure it out.”
- You cannot control every obstacle that comes your way, but you can control how you react and respond to the unpredictable.
- When Tim Grover says “figure it out” he does not mean thinking about it for a month and having ten meetings while hoping that things will change on their own. Tim means to decide the right way to go immediately and if you mess up, admit it and create your next plan A.
- When you can laugh at yourself and not treat every setback like it is the end of the world, that is confidence!
- When you allow a tough situation to make you emotional and upset, that is a confidence problem. Even when it is not your job, you must still take responsibility.
- If one of Tim Grover’s athletes has a bad game he does not blame him, he is asking himself what they could have done differently. Maybe they did some exercise that threw off his timing; maybe he should have noticed something earlier that day, what did they miss? What happened at home or in the locker room? Tim wants to know everything so that one bad game does not turn into two.
- Tim Grover does not guess. He needs to know. Never ignore a bad performance. Face it, fix it, and prepare to do better. Trust your ability to respond quickly and effectively. Learn what you need to know before you need it, not when everyone is panicking.
You DO NOT COMPETE with anyone; you find your opponent’s weakness and ATTACK.
- A cooler does a good job and waits for a pat on the back, a closer does a good job and pats himself on the back, and a cleaner does his job. That is his job.
- Cleaners do not have meaningless games. Every game is the same for him. He shows up and uses it to sharpen the blade.
- Dwyane Wade broke Kobe Bryant’s nose and gave him a concussion during a very important game. That is what cleaners do. They see the situation, their killer instincts kick in, and they attack. It makes no difference that they were friends because business is business. Attack or you will be attacked. After the game when all the doctors told Kobe that he needs to go to the hospital, he refused to go before addressing the situation with Dwyane. Wade apologized the next day, and Kobe Bryant played the next game with a broken nose as if nothing happened.
- When you get two relentless individuals going against each other, that situation can play out for years. They can still get along and hang out, but the cleaner inside never forgives and never forgets. That is how cleaners compete. They dish it out, take it, and make sure everyone else does too.
- Cleaners force their teammates and coworkers to perform better. They do not ask. Get on my level or get out of my way. When you are at the top it is on you to pull everyone else on your level or everything that you have built will come crashing down. That is not an easy job for cleaners who demand excellence and have no tolerance for anything less.
- Cleaners do not sacrifice their competitive edge. They set the example and make everyone else work harder. The greats do not compete with anyone. They make everyone else compete with them.
- A cleaner’s job is to take control and determine what has to happen to get results. Your coach is telling you something; teammates want something else but and the end of the day, all fingers will be pointing at you. You are responsible for every mistake. It is all on you.
You make DECISIONS, not suggestions.
- A cooler takes no risks, a closer takes a risk when he can prepare in advance and knots the consequences of failure are minimal, and nothing feels risky to a cleaner. Whatever happens, he knows what to do.
- Reaction time is everything. When you say that you will take a look over the weekend, somebody else already made the deal on Friday afternoon. It may only take a split second to determine what to do, but in that split second, somebody else has already beaten you. Every minute, every hour, every day that you sit around trying to think about what to do someone else is already doing it. When you are paralyzed by overthinking and overanalyzing someone else already did it.
- Make a choice or a choice will be made for you.
- Most people do not want to make decisions, they make suggestions and wait to see what everyone else thinks. If things go wrong, they can say that it was just a suggestion. They hate responsibility because if they make the decision, they cannot blame anyone else. Meanwhile, someone else is going to make a decision and get all the credit.
- Maybe the choice he made already worked for him but since no one else took charge, too bad for them.
- A cleaner makes decisions because there is no chance he is going to let anyone else decide for him. He might ask for your opinion, but the ultimate decision will be his. Once he decides, that is set in stone. He is prepared to live with that decision.
- When a cleaner puts you in a position to execute, you better be prepared. There are certain moments when what you do at that moment will determine what you are going to do for a long time after. Make sure you are prepared for those moments. Someone will do something that the boss will not like, and you are going to get a chance. Do not waste it.
- When you are given a chance at the job – will you be ready? Will you do the work to be fully prepared to show them you should have had this job all along? Will you find ways to stay sharp and focused? If you mess up, you may never get another opportunity because another guy will get it.
- Make a choice and stand by it. Will you choose to keep working when everyone else tells you to quit? Are you comfortable being uncomfortable?
- Tim Grover has never met a person with a high tolerance for physical pain which would not have a high tolerance for mental pain as well. You will face a lot of pain, but it is your decision to either push through or to cave in and stop.
You do not have to love the work, but you CRAVE THE END RESULT.
- A cooler makes you wish you paid him less, a closer asks how much and then decides how hard he will work, and a cleaner does not think about the money. He will just do the work and know you will be grateful for the privilege of paying him.
- Making it to the top is not the same as making it at the top. Getting the job does not mean keeping the job. The hard part is just starting.
- What were you given and what are you willing to earn? Somebody may take a chance on you or gave you something, but the open doors swing both ways. Did you shut the door on your competition or yourself?
- There is nothing wrong with receiving a gift, but it will not be as easy to keep it.
- Tim Grover’s first client was Michael Jordan, and people thought that training Michael is easy because he was the best. Tim explains to us that it is easy to improve on mediocrity. It is not so easy to improve on excellence.
- When you reduce your competition to whining that you got lucky, you know you are doing something right. There are no shortcuts, and there is no luck. When somebody wishes you good luck, it means you are not prepared which is why you need outside You do not need luck. You need to know that you are ready and in control.
- You cannot fight elephants until you have wrestled with pigs. You cannot be prepared if you start with elephants because you will lack the basic knowledge and skills. Elephants will know they are looking at a desperate newcomer.
- Do you love every part of your job?
You would rather be FEARED than liked.
- A cooler is liked, a closer is respected, and a cleaner is feared and respected for doing exactly what everyone feared he would do.
- A cleaner moves silently under the surface. You never know what he is doing, and you may not even know who he is until he comes and dominates you. He makes no effort to make sure you like him; he will do everything to make you fear him.
- How does it feel when you do not know what is about to happen? You get nervous, anxious, and paranoid. Michael Jordan would whisper into someone else’s ear while you were watching. He may be wishing a nice dinner after the game, but you would be wondering what he was saying about you instead of focusing on what you should do. It is about fear and respect. Let them know you were there by your actions.
- You do not have to be loud to be the focus of attention. Think about The Godfather. He was the quietest guy in the room surrounded by people waiting to see what he would do or say. The loudest guy in the room is the one with the most to prove and no way to prove it. A cleaner does not need to announce his presence. He is the quiet guy who focuses on results because the results are all that matters.
- People who broadcast what they are about to do are trying to convince themselves. If you already know, you do not have to talk about it. Talk never goes up in price. It is always free, and you usually get what you pay for.
- Tim Grover believes that his client Michael Jordan had the best intimidation techniques. He went to the opponent’s locker room for just a minute by pretending he wants to say hello to a friend. He got the attention, and the players could not think about anything else. The entire team talked about how many points the great Michael Jordan is going to score that night. They were no longer his opponents; they were his fans.
- Cleaners always leave behind a taste of the fear factor to give their next victims something to think about, so everyone knows they are coming.
- You are not here to make friends. You are here because you are the best and are not afraid to show it. You cannot get to the top without stepping on some people. A cleaner knows where to step without leaving footprints because you never know when you might need those people again. Carry yourself and be well-respected, being feared does not mean being a jerk.
- When others have to fight you by flinging insults, you have already won. Now you know they are intimidated, and you will win every time. The only ones who will not be intimidated are other cleaners just like you.
You TRUST very few people and they better not let you down.
- Coolers are afraid of the truth because they cannot deal with it, closers dig for the truth and get upset when it is not in their favor, and cleaners know when you are lying and wait for the truth to show itself, knowing whatever it is, they will handle it.
- In a world of cleaners, trust is everything. If you can’t be trusted, you are gone. Cleaners trust very few people. If they trust you, you have earned it. If they don’t, watch your back because they never forgive or forget. You should watch your back either way because a cleaner will finish the job. If the next job requires him to take you down, you are going down.
- Cleaners get results; they are not necessarily good guys.
- Trust your instincts. A big part of that is knowing who you can trust. A part of success will always be recognizing people who can get you where you want to go. Trusting others is very difficult for cleaners because they worked so hard for a long time to get to where they are. If you are the best, who will you trust to help you out to improve even more? Who even knows about anything that might make you better?
- Cleaners learn that they can only trust themselves. They realized they can only rely on their gut instincts and can never take their hands off the wheel.
- Once you let someone else drive, they are in control. Cleaners only sit in the passenger’s seat if they are 100% sure they can trust the driver because they know there are a lot of bad drivers.
- Surround yourself with those who want you to succeed and recognize what it takes to get there. People who do not pursue their dreams will not encourage you to pursue yours. Cleaners have very strict criteria about who can get into their inner-circle. They rather trust their instincts and correct their mistakes when they are wrong than to let someone else make those decisions for them.
- “If you are not contributing to my bank account, my goals or my happiness, I do not have time for you.” If a cleaner makes a mistake he wants that mistake to be because he thought he was doing something right not because somebody else told him what to do. When a cleaner trusts you, he will stay out of your way and let you do your job, especially if you are a cleaner as well.
- Cleaners do not care about how you do it. They only care about results. “Just get it done.”
- Do not waste time on irrelevant people. It is a question of mind over matter. You do not mind because they do not matter. If you say “trust me” or “I got this” you are taking on some serious responsibility, and you better be able to deliver.
- Tim Grover would rather tell you to your face that things are going bad than to be your buddy who tells you that things are going great.
You DO NOT RECOGNIZE FAILURE – you know there is more than one way to get what you want.
- A cooler accepts what he can’t do and gives up, a closer recognizes what he can’t do but keeps working at it, and a cleaner knows what he can do and stays with it until he decides to do something else.
- Tim Grover does not understand the concept of failure. If you do not succeed at everything on the first try, does that mean you failed? Isn’t it a good thing that you keep coming back until you make it?
- What most people think of as a failure, a cleaner sees as an opportunity to manage and control a situation, and pull it around to his advantage. He wants to do what everyone else says is impossible. Even if there is 99% chance of failure, he will still take the risk just to show that he took the challenge. It may take years and a lot of work that no one else will ever see, but eventually, a cleaner will own that situation and make it work to his advantage. It is the only way he knows how.
- You can’t always pick your battles. Sometimes your battles pick you.
- Failure is what happens when you decide you failed. Success and failure are 100% mental. Every person’s idea of success is different. You must establish your vision of what it means to be unstoppable. You can’t let anyone else define that for you. What does your gut tell you?
- When somebody says “you failed” that means “if that were me, I would feel like a failure.” That is not you, and that person is obviously not a cleaner because cleaners do not recognize failure.
- Most people are looking for a quick fix or a trendy solution to a complex problem. Someone who took an easy way out will not know what you learned. Wear “failures” proudly like medals.
You do not celebrate your achievements; you ALWAYS WANT MORE.
- A cooler is first to arrive at the celebration and last to leave, a closer will make an appearance, then go out with his crew, and a cleaner wants to go back to work.
- Tim Grover will never attend a championship parade. When his client wakes up, Tim will be long gone. They will talk for a few minutes at the end of the season and then go their separate ways. There is always more work to do and more to prove.
- A cleaner’s favorite words are “Done. Next.”
- Cleaners have brief private celebrations that they do not share with anyone else because no one could understand what they went through to get there.
- The others can celebrate because you made it possible. They might not realize that, but you do. Everything that you worked for was not for the celebration. You did it for the powerful satisfaction that everyone dreams about, but few get to experience. The minute you experience it, it is already fading, and all you can think about is getting it back.
- The cleaner waits for the letdown and the reminder that the glory is already in the past. There is a new challenge ahead, and it is bigger and harder than what he juts To find a cleaner, just look at the person sitting alone watching everyone else. He is happy for them because their work is complete. His work has just begun. He is looking for the next move, the next kill.
- A true cleaner is at his lowest soon after he reaches his highest. He is very happy for five minutes, relatively happy for the next day, and then goes back to work. Everyone says he did a great job, but their approval means nothing to him. The standards that he set for himself are so high that nobody else can imagine. Win or lose, he thinks about how he could have done it better. Tim Grover saw this countless times with athletes such as Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, and Michael Jordan.
- Never being satisfied means being prepared for any situation, ready to adapt without panic, scrutinizing every detail and paying attention to things no one else would notice.
This list permits you to have all these traits, let go of your fears and say – “I GOT THIS.”
- Is this a good thing?
- Never being satisfied?
- Being driven by an addiction to succeed that never ends?
- Embracing pressure and stress?
- Comfortable being uncomfortable, alone, and misunderstood?
Why would anyone want that?
BECAUSE OF THE REWARD!
This is not about judging whether you are a good person, this is about tapping into your raw instincts that lead to success.
The BS that holds you back
Most of us get a lot of bad advice even if we do not ask for it. There are ridiculous clichés that get you nowhere such as “follow your passion” and “good things come to those who wait.”
Passion and inner drive will take you to the top
No one earns rewards for just having passion. Your boss will never say “your results suck and you are not productive but you have a lot of passion so here is a raise.”
Passion is emotion without action. Same goes for the inner drive. It is all internal, and it will get you nowhere unless you act on it. There are no rewards for just showing up. The real question is: are you producing and improving? Instead of just showing up you need to raise your standards and contribute to something.
Tim Grover asked Michael Jordan the same question after every training: 5, 6 or 7? Meaning how early are we working out the next morning. He might have played 40 minutes the previous night but when Tim Grover came to his house to train, Michael would be already half done with his training. He was that hungry for improvement.
Michael Jordan always showed up with a purpose and dedication. He did not just show up. Tim Grover does not believe in the participation trophies. What are we teaching our kids if everyone gets a reward just for showing up? Improvement and results matter.
Everything in moderation
If you do everything in moderation, you get moderate results. Moderation is limiting you. That means average such as C on a test. It means you take a step, stop, consider, reconsider, think about what you are going to do next, and waste a lot of time in the process. Meanwhile, someone else is running on those stairs three at a time!
People say that life is a marathon, not a spring but the truth is that a marathon is a sprint. The marathon winner averages about 12.5 miles per hour for 26 miles. Try to run just two miles at that speed, and you will see how fast it is. You need to sprint to stay in the race. Every minute you spend enjoying moderation, someone is beating you to the finish line.
While you are saying “one, two, three!” someone else has already started. You are getting better or you are getting worse. Even if you are staying the same, you are getting worse. In a world where so much information is available to you, what is the possible reason for doing less and doing it slower?
People like to believe they have got “it.” “It” has an expiration date. You better start using your talent, or you will quickly be replaced while your “it” will be replaced by “shit.” Your history and past accomplishments have an expiration date as well. If sharks do not keep moving forward, they will die.
The reason why people suggest moderation is because moderation removes the pressure. Tim Grover does not believe in taking your time and not being in a rush. You need to stop chasing your dreams and start catching them.
Surround yourself with positive people
People who want to surround themselves with positive people want others to lie to their face so they can feel better about themselves. You cannot rely on others to generate positive energy and influence how you think and feel. Generate your own energy and let them follow you.
Relying on others to affect your mood is a weakness. Whether somebody is positive or negative should not affect you at all. Surround yourself with those who will bring you the truth, who you can trust to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
Everybody swears they are very positive and supportive; almost nobody will admit that they are negative. These are your Facebook friends who like your pictures and put smileys on everything. They are telling you what you want to hear and they all meet you at the happy hour to discuss their horrible job situation, talk about their broken car, not making enough money, and all the problems that they have at home. Everyone knows a person who cannot wait to tell everyone at the happy hour how unhappy he is and if you do not know that person, then you are that person.
Tim Grover is not looking for friends; he is looking for allies who will tell him what he needs to hear. They will not put a happy face on everything. Sometimes their face will say “what the hell is wrong with you?” Those are your partners who will help you grow and keep you focused on what matters. Allies do not care about your feelings; they care about results. You may not like each other, but those are the people who will get the job done.
Thinking and acting positive comes from an internal mechanism; no one can give it to you. Show leadership and elevate others. Show them your emotions are in check and your confidence is high. Stay away from happy hour to stay happy.
Success changes everyone
Tim Grover has worked with a lot of successful people, and he knows that you are who you are. People do not change. You can win or lose a million dollars, start a business, lose your job, gain or drop 50 pounds, change careers, spouses or cities; you are still the same person. No matter what happens to you, you will still be the same person. Success only amplifies who you are. If you were a charitable person before you were successful, you would be more charitable when you would be able to afford it.
If you did not give before, you are not giving now. If you were a jerk before you had any money, you are an even bigger jerk with cash in your pocket.
“When I am earning $100,000 I am going to relax.” Not you are not! You will want to make $200,000. It will never be enough for you. People who lose weight are mostly as unhappy as they were when they started because the issue that put them in that situation still exists. You are who you are.
Your success will most likely change friends and family. They will be uncomfortable, jealous, and judgmental around you. They could relate to you when you were struggling on your way up because they were struggling as well and you were in this together. Now that you have the money, they cannot relate anymore. You kept growing, and they did not. When they look at your new car, big house, and realize that you no longer complain about paying your bills, now they are not sharing the same situation as you.
Now they will say “you work too much. You have no time for anything else. We never see you out at the club.” Your response should be “I never see you at the bank.”
“Who do you think you are?” You are the person who earned to go to the next level. Can they say the same for themselves? Fight the urge to come down to their level. You are who you are. Set the example and let them join you.
Hit them with everything but the kitchen sink
Thinking too small will hold you back. When somebody tells Tim Grover that he hit them with everything but the kitchen sink his response is “what are you saving the kitchen sink for?”
If you are not using every possible weapon, you are not giving 100%. Coolers leave at the end of the business day, closers leave a few hours later and congratulate themselves on a productive day, and cleaners leave last. They do not look at the clock because they know there are more things to do. Cleaners need to finish what they started no matter what while others go home and leave those tasks for the next day.
“When I am under the lights, that is when I really turn it on!” – Tim Grover hates sayings like that because that means that they did not put in their best at the practice and the weekend when they could.
Cleaners have to finish. Even when things do not go their way, they still find ways to keep going. For them “NO” is not the end, it is a beginning of a different conversation. They do not keep banging on the closed door. They find out why the door is closed and find new ways to open it or adapt to a different direction – either way; they must finish. You can easily spot a cleaner at the office because his car will leave last at the end of the day when everyone else is long gone. Cleaners hate Fridays and weekends. Everyone else stops working. That is why the best day of the week is Monday when everyone else gets back to work.
It is you against the world
Make a list of everything that is going against you. Maybe your boss is not giving you a chance, you have no time to invest in your goals, your spouse, your kids, your friends, and everyone else needs your attention. You cannot afford to make a move.
If you think that the world is against you, you should give YOURSELF to that list as well. It is NOT you against the world because the world does not care about you or anyone else. It is YOU against YOU. Only you are responsible for your limitations and mistakes.
People tell you to look in the mirror, but it is what you do not see in the mirror that is stopping you. Those are all the lies you keep telling yourself and the excuses you want to believe. You are NOT a victim. You have choices, and you have to trust yourself to make those choices.
The challenges will exist if you turn weaknesses into strengths or let them defeat you. Every obstacle in front of you that tells you “you can’t do it” is an opportunity to go harder and say “watch me.”
Make sure you say this to yourself as well because you are the only one that matters.
NO BUTS OR EXCUSES!
- But I can’t afford it
- But I have no time
- But my family is not behind me
I DO NOT CARE AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.
Change, breaking the routine, and altering your lifestyle are all very hard to do as well as telling others NO but all of those hard choices will make the difference between where you are and where you want to be.
The elite athletes and billionaires all made those hard choices. Excellence is lonely. It creates distance between you and everything you are leaving behind. No one will ever know what you went through to get to where you are going. They do not have to. They will see your results.
You must always be your toughest opponent. When you allow something else to oppose you, now it has control over you. Do not allow it. You are always in battle with yourself, no one else. Never forget that.
There is no balance
When somebody important calls you about an opportunity at the end of a long day you immediately go into cleaner mode and work on a solution. Nothing is stopping you even though you have other commitments. The family will have to understand.
Putting what you do in front of your family is a hard choice for most people, but it is the only choice for cleaners because there is no balance.
It is not about right or wrong. It is about staying committed to your goals and focus on the results regardless of the sacrifice. You cannot have it all. Sacrifices must be done.
To be great at anything you must make it the sole focus of your time and effort. Stop being average at a lot of things. You do not have to have it all; you just have to have what you really want. Success creates distance from the competition, from those you surpassed, and people you care about. It is not easy, but you do not have to love the work and sacrifice as long as you crave the result so intensely that the work and sacrifices are irrelevant.
Get rid of the guilt and permit yourself to accept who you truly are.
Getting rid of the guilt.
Tim Grover gets pissed off every time he sees a highly-successful individual who after years of hard work talks about work-life balance. Where was the balance when they were broke?
There is no secret to a balanced life because there is no balance. Successful people who post pictures on social media about their vacation are still working on their vacation. If they were not working, why did they post those pictures?
Stop feeling guilty about pursuing your goals and working harder than anyone else. How is that guilt helping you? People think that guilt makes you a good person because you feel bad. Instead, it clutters up your mind with emotional baggage. Instead of thinking about what you have to do you are thinking about what you did wrong and how to make it right. Of course, you feel bad because you cannot be there for everyone. Admit it and accept it.
When it comes to your family, are you a team or is it you against them? A team has to win together, and everyone has a role to play.
If your work demands your time and focus, if it takes you away from home extensively, help your family understand you are not absent because you want to be but because this is who you are and this is what you do. All of it is for the team. They do not have to love it, but they have to respect it.
If your significant other is not supportive of your lifestyle, Tim Grover would ask you “didn’t your significant-other know who you were at the beginning of the relationship?” You are not going to change now and neither will she. If that is an issue, address it now because it will not go away or get any easier.
“When we can finally afford a vacation or buy a house…” Tim Grover knows that it does not work that way. That house comes with expenses, and you will be working even harder to keep up. The grind continues if you want the end result to continue. You cannot own success; you can only rent it. When you stop paying rent, you are out.
People who struggle with balance often feel like they are wearing a mask. One face for home, the other one for the outside world. They think they can be themselves with their family and be someone else in a competitive environment.
Which version is the real you? If you are truly a beast at the office, you can’t behave that way at home. At work, you are a high-pressure competitor who loves the energy, the action, and the combat. That is who you instinctively are. At that level, there is no off switch. It is very difficult to hide the person you were all day.
The drive, the pressure, the focus all comes with you wherever you are. You do not just go to work; you become the work.
Think about Bruce Wayne and Batman. Who is real and who is the alter ego? They are actually pretending at home and are truly themselves when they go out. The superheroes are real, the pretenders are their alter egos.
How to make a transition from superhero to family guy?
- Understand what you need and make sure you get it
- Give yourself extra time to transition
- Ask for cooperation
Game of Thorns
The Biggest Asshole
Tim Grover started training Kobe Bryant when Michael Jordan retired. When Kobe had problems with his knees and asked Michael what he should do, Michael told him to meet with Tim. He described Tim Grover as the biggest asshole you will ever meet.
Tim Grover sees this as a compliment because he does not play nice just to make people feel better and he does not let them get away with the substandard performance. He tells the truth not to be mean but because the truth matters and it has to be heard. It is about what you need to hear not what you want to hear. You do not have to be nice, be truthful. If someone does a good job, say it is just good, not great.
We teach our kids to play nice and they get in trouble for not being nice but we never teach them that sometimes “nice” has to take a backseat to the truth. This is about your work and results. If that means you need to step on toes and even throats, then so be it.
If Tim Grover can’t do something his way, can’t get the results he needs, or he messes up, his client messes up, and he won’t tolerate that.
What the F*ck guy
This person is gender neutral but every business, every team, and every circle of friends needs “what the f*ck” guy. This is the person that steps into the meeting after everything went wrong and asks “what the f*ck happened?” That person is a thorn of your organization that you hear from when you were smelling the roses, felt comfortable, and satisfied. He sets up a painful reminder that roses can hurt you when you are not careful.
The worst thing you can do is attempt to answer the question unless the answer is fast, simple, and accurate.
If you do not already know the answer to the question, your explanation will sound like a kid that wants to get out of trouble. Your story will only get longer until you do not know what happened at all. The only possible way to respond is by saying “I f*cked up.” It is simple, direct, honest, and a defense that can’t be contested. He knew you did it, he just wanted to know that you knew it.
Whatever you did or didn’t do, whatever went right or wrong, you have to option to admit it, own it, and fix the issue.
You have to hold yourself and everyone else around you accountable for their performance. When what the f*ck guy delivers a message you can take it as feedback or criticism. He does not care how you take it. If you think you are getting constructive direction, then you are, and if you think you are being criticized, then you are.
One mindset will allow you to push forward and improve. The other will hold you back and make you defensive. You cannot control what someone says to you but you can control your response.
Stop thinking about every step you make. Everything must be done by feeling, by using instincts, not thoughts. Go with what you know, not with what you see.
When you are good, you know what you are supposed to do and what the outcome should be. When you are great, you feel what you are going to do, and you know what the outcome will be. When you can do that all the time, over and over again, you become unstoppable.
Tim Grover knows that the problem with most athletes is not about how they are playing, it is about how they are thinking. They keep changing their shoes, diet, and favorite equipment but nothing works because the problem is their thinking.
In most cases, people start thinking, doubting, and overthinking which leads to poor results. Instead of focusing on what you know, you are thinking about what you do not know, whether you are goo enough to do the job, and what your boss will say. It is not easy to stop thinking. The harder you try to stop, the more you think.
What is the solution to the problem? Countless hours of working and preparation will prevent you from thinking because you are ready for anything.
When you are so good that only you can see the subtle improvements, you reach the level of not thinking.
Go to a big sales department and see how different salespeople do their job. Some of them need the script in front of them, others understand the product and the customer so well they can just talk. We are talking about musicians who do not have to look at the notes to write and play music, the actor who cares more about the meaning of the lines than memorizing the script. They do not memorize. They feel it. The ability to feel the outcome and perform it is what separates you from everyone else.
When you are good, you trust your instincts. When you are great, your instincts trust you.
Decide. Commit. Act. Succeed. Repeat
Tim Grover’s Relentless System can be summed up in 5 words – “Decide. Commit. Act. Succeed. Repeat.” Memorize them and act on them.
Skills, money, education, and good looks will not be enough without following the system. If you want more, refuse to be limited, and are drive to use the power you feel inside you, you are going to have to turn that power into action and results, over and over again!
Most people never make it through the list. They decide on something but they never commit to a plan. If they commit to it, they do not act on it or do not follow through. Many people stop before they succeed because they stop believing it will work and the pressure becomes too much to handle.
Even those who succeed rarely repeat it because they feel satisfied and stop.
- Are you stalled at one of these phases? What is stopping you from moving forward?
- Where are you right now and where do you want to be instead?
- What are you willing to do to get there?
- Make a plan to get there and act on it.
How sure are you about where you want to be one year from now?
- Very sure
- I have some idea but I am not certain
Get a glass and fill it out halfway. Is the glass half full or half empty? NOBODY CARES! You either like what is in the glass or you do not. If you like it, add more. If you don’t, por it out and start over. Either way, stop viewing indecisions as unsolvable mysteries because they are not. They are weaknesses. If you are hopelessly confused about something or you do not know which way to go, just stop. You do not want it bad enough.
People will serious goals and dreams do not have issues like that. They envision exactly what they want and what they are willing to do to get it. They might have started uncertain but they have figured it out.
“Good things do not come to those who wait, they come to those who work.” – Tim Grover
Every day you do not decide what to do, somebody else is moving ahead of you. Pretty soon you are so far behind you do not even see where that road leads. Stop wasting your life with overthinking. Trust yourself and decide. If you need to adjust your plan later, you will but until you make that first decision, nothing else can happen.
After you make a decision, you must commit to a plan of action. This part is very difficult because a lot of people decide they want to make more money or get in shape but they are unable to commit themselves to a plan.
Tim Grover has seen a lot of athletes who have decided on what they want but their commitment is lacking. They show up on their first day and put in a decent effort. The second day they reschedule their workout twice, so they can play golf. The third day they are tired and just want a good stretch.
Good decision, no commitment.
You can’t just make a decision and wait for things to happen because nothing is going to happen. You will either lose interest or others will until someone else will grab the opportunity. People love slowing things down and testing the waters. Just jump in. What is the worst thing that can happen?
While everyone else shivers and looks for a towel, a cleaner jumps in the water. The principle becomes complicated when you factor in your friends and family. You know not only have to deal with your fears and doubts but also theirs. When you tell them about your plan you just get blank stares or the rolling eyes. Instead of being excited you get serious doubts.
The smartest and most successful people have the fewest friends for a reason. A minute ago you could be seeing a clear vision of what you want, now you see everything that can go wrong when your friends explain it to you with their limiting beliefs and failure mindset. Forget about others because they will rarely be excited and happy for you.
“People who do not chase their own dreams will not encourage you to chase yours.” – Tim Grover
They will tell you every lie they keep telling themselves. Who do you have more faith in, you or them? They think they are giving you feedback but you will see it as criticism. It is not helpful. You will shut them up by achieving the desired result.
Stop thinking about it, stop explaining, and get to work. Stop relying on others to support your goals. It is on me. Know your strengths and weaknesses, then surround yourself with people who can help you get to where you want, and focus on the end result.
It is your responsibility to come up with a plan and execute it.
- What can you spend?
- How much time are you willing to commit?
- Is this going to be a priority in your schedule or will it have to fit around other commitments?
This is about you, and you alone.
You know you have made the right choice when you face a thousand reasons of why it will not work and you are willing to risk it.
You have made a decision and committed to the plan. The pressure is on. Now you have to act on it and make it work. It is fascinating to Tim Grover when he sees committed people who are not willing to act on their plan and put in the work.
Diet is a common example where people decide to lose weight, buy a book, read it cover to cover, and then never lose any weight. No one ever lost weight by sitting on a couch reading books. There are thousands of diet books out there and most of them work if you put in the work.
But the work is hard and you can’t get results without work. The secret to getting results is discipline. Do the work. That’s it! It doesn’t matter if you are launching a business or want to be an athlete. You either do the work or don’t.
The results are always determined by the amount and quality of work you produce. More often than not the work is not scripted out. You have to figure it out. If you do the small things consistently, the big things will come. You have to do something that you don’t want to do every single day. Do the hardest things first just to prove to yourself that you can handle them.
Challenge yourself to work past fatigue, fear, and stress. Go on when everyone else has quit.
“You do not have to love every part of the work, you just have to crave the results so much that the work becomes irrelevant.” – Tim Grover
You will never make it if you wait for somebody else to make it happen. This is not a movie and there are no fantasy happy endings. This is real life. Everything isn’t fair and everyone doesn’t win.
Tim Grover has met a lot of people who say they are cleaners, relentless, and successful. They say the same thing a year later and they haven’t improved at all.
People love to say “whatever it takes” but very few people do whatever it takes.
Pretty soon “whatever it takes” becomes “whatever”.
- Are you willing to spend no time with your family?
- Would you go into debt?
- Would you relocate your life to another country?
If you are doing whatever it takes, it will be very uncomfortable for a while. The hours, the uncertainty, the new scope of learning and experiences. You will be out of your comfort zone all the time. If you are not willing to do that, it is better to quit right now because you are never going to make it.
If you can handle discomfort, if you are comfortable being uncomfortable, you may have a shot at greatness.
Now you are doing everything right. You made the decision, you are committed, and you making actions. Unfortunately, a lot of people quit at this point because they get tired of all the hard work and minimal results. They do not want to go any further. It seems easier to quit than to figure out another way to get there because it seems like they are never going to make it.
Can you finish what you started? When you are relentless for success, you realize what every winner discovers on their way up.
The action is not enough.
You need an extra gear to get where you want to be. You do not understand what it means to be relentless until you have struggled to get something that is just beyond your reach. You are close and as soon as you are about to touch it, it moves further away.
If you have the relentless mindset, you continue to chase the target that never stops moving until you grab it and keep fighting to hold it.
Embrace the chase!
There is an undeniable thrill that goes on when you are pursuing something that seems unattainable. Let that feeling keep you sharp and excited instead of focusing how hard it is to get there. Focus on how good it will be when you finally arrive. When you get there, keep going so it gets better and better.
People will tell you to have reasonable expectations. Forget about that.
Have unreasonable expectations and put unreasonable pressure on yourself. Dare to be unreasonable.
If you have a choice between taking an easy way and a hard way, take the hard way just to prove yourself you can do it. Reasonable is like moderation. It is good enough for most but if you are going for greatness, it is not enough for you.
When others are trying to explain about the storm that comes with success, you already know you are the storm. When they are bragging about working 14 hours a day, you wonder how they wasted the other 10 hours. It’s the same with people who think they have “earned a cheat day”. If they want to have a cheat day, they do not crave the result bad enough.
What does success look to you?
When you are good, you study the competition. When you are great, the competition studies you.
Finish the fight.
If you have come this far, get what you came for. Do not give up because of weak excuses.
Although the last step sounds the easiest, it is the hardest. People think that if you do it once it is not difficult to do it again because of the plan that already worked before, a track record, and all the experience. If that was true then why don’t championship teams win every year? Why don’t sales numbers go up every month? Why don’t your workouts improve every day?
Because the hardest thing to do is repeat.
Most people congratulate themselves when they reach the top and then relax. Those people are not on top for long because you are either getting better or getting worse. If you stay in the same place you are getting worse. Someone else is coming behind you to start working on where you left off.
Most people that win get satisfied and stop. Cleaners are not like that. For cleaners, success is an addiction and they are never satisfied. When you are unstoppable, you can’t stop because as soon as you taste success, you want more.
When Michael Jordan won a championship, he showed as many fingers as the number of championships that he has already won AND one extra for the next year. He was already preparing for the next season.
“If what you did yesterday still looks good to you today, you haven’t done enough today.” – Tim Grover
Relentless people don’t think about what’s on the top, they go OVER THE TOP. To the next level, and then beyond that. The top does not exist because as soon as you reach that level, the next level appears.
When you break through one barrier, another one appears. It just keeps going and you have fewer and fewer people at your side because more and more people are afraid to climb that high. That’s OK because you can do it alone.
Harnessing the power of the dark side
Talking about the dark side makes people uncomfortable. Nobody wants to talk about their secret desires and addictions.
Do you have a dark side?
Everyone has a dark side!
You can’t get to the top without embracing your dark side and putting it to work. When you know who you are and what you do, you can turn those instincts into power. Those who hide it or think they don’t have it, are liars who can’t admit who they are.
Your dark side is something extremely private and personal. It is your energy fueled by your ego, secrets, desires, and a whole lot of other things you don’t want others to know about you. It’s unique to you and your power lies in its secrecy. It is not good or bad, it’s just who you are. It’s your addiction that makes you feel great and powerful.
A cleaner has the biggest dark side but he controls his urges. He is NOT careless and does not take stupid risks. You must be in complete control, being able to walk away and hold back if you choose to. You buy the expensive Rolls Royce not because you are reckless but because you can afford it. Drink when you want not because you have to, enjoy sexuality but know when it’s time to get out of bed and get to work. Most people get caught up in these pleasures and forget about everything else. Pretty soon their results and productivity are gone because of these pleasurable experiences.
Cleaners, however, are never completely satisfied. That is why they know they have to go back to work. They transfer their addictions such as fast cars, blackjack, golf, and sex for winning, competing, and making money.
The addiction is still there but it is there for delivering results. You trade up. It’s all about winning. Being relentless is a hunger that never subsides. Every success is followed by a letdown. The thrill disappears and you want more. When you are used to winning, you want to keep going because no challenge is too big for you. The more you take on, the more powerful you feel.
You can’t do any of this if you do not acknowledge the dark side. Otherwise, it just becomes a very emotional destruction and weakness. Stop judging yourself and stop worrying about being judged. It’s about trusting yourself to let go of your fears.
Finish the fight
The secrets of cutthroat competitors
Tim Grover’s entire career has been about teaching and learning from the greatest champions of our time. Watching how they work, challenging themselves, and competing relentlessly for excellence over and over again.
Everything in the relentless system is about being an elite competitor. Everyone has an ability to compete but not everyone has the ability to win. Winners not only compete, they always finish the fight. They find a way and get it done. Not everyone can do that.
More often than not, athletes who had an exceptional season can’t produce the same results in the play-offs and finals. They did not forget how to play, they just melted under pressure.
You can take people with identical talents but someone will still win over the other. Even someone with less talent will deliver better results. What does he have the others don’t?
Key traits of cutthroat competitors are:
The greatness of standing alone
Being lonely at the top is not a bad thing. If you are a cleaner, get used to that. The greats stand alone. They might not start alone but eventually, they will be alone.
Everyone else starts out at the same level with similar goals and dreams. When you climb a little higher a few of them fall back. With every level, fewer and fewer can keep up until you get to the top, look around and realize you are all alone. No one else made it to the top.
When you look down, you hear others having excuses and saying to you that you were just lucky.
“When others start bashing your success, you know you are doing something right. When you start getting bashed by people who don’t even know you, you have definitely arrived.” – Tim Grover
You might think that successful people get approval and appreciation for their achievements but more often than not, people will be more cynical than supportive. They do not understand how you did it because they are not capable to do the same. People do not like what they cannot understand.
The greats do not look for approval from others and rarely give it to themselves. They know what they have accomplished and are still working for more.
At some point, you stop fitting in and you shouldn’t try to fit in. Do not be afraid to be different. Be afraid of being like everyone else. When somebody says “you are one of us” in most cases that is not a good thing. When somebody says “you are crazy” that mostly means you have dreams, plans, and goals they can’t even imagine. Stop apologizing for being different.
If you are the only one who does not drink, the only one in the office on Sunday, and the only one shooting baskets in an empty gym at 4 AM, stop explaining. Your results will tell them everything they need to know.
Your discipline threatens them and reminds them of everything they are not able to do.
A cooler worries about who is talking behind his back, a closer hears what they say and tries to ignore it. A cleaner knows they are talking behind his back because that is where they belong. Behind him.
Emotions make you weak
We are NOT talking about crying when watching a sad movie or punching a wall when your team loses. This is about performance, competition, and how emotions will control you if you do not control them first.
Can you recall a time when emotions interfered with your decisions or actions?
In whatever you do, elite performance requires clarity. Cleaners have the ability to block out distractions and focus only on what they are doing. The fastest way to lose that focus is to allow your emotions to drive your actions.
When you are nervous your mind starts racing with a million scenarios that will never occur but you fixate on them anyway. No focus leads to failure.
When you feel fear you put up a wall to protect yourself. Is there really a wall? Of course not. Now you can’t move forward because of this imaginary roadblock you put there. Progress stops.
When you are enraged you blow up. You become irrational because you are acting on impulse, not reason. Instead of being cool and calm you have lost control. Failure.
Eventually, your emotions make you so distracted and confused you can’t do anything right.
One emotion. Not emotions. No S at the end.
When you perform with one emotion you are steady without ups and downs. Ideally, that emotion stays below the surface without anyone knowing what you are feeling. Emotion makes you pause. Emotions make you hesitate.
One emotion allows you to decide and act, multiple emotions confuse you and strip you of your ability to focus, so you can’t act. Emotion is about being in the zone, emotions are about being in a drama.
Whatever rage you are feeling, it must always stay under the surface.
Even Michael Jordan would sometimes get butterflies before an important game. Tim Grover would tell him to direct them the same way (just in one direction).
The best way to keep emotions in check is to stay in a routine, so you never have to decide what to do next, keep everything the same, whether you are playing for the championship or speaking at the board meeting, surround yourself with supportive people who know what you need, and expect nothing back right away. No added pressure. The minute you start thinking this is a big deal you become emotional.
Turn your feelings into energy and make them your strength, not weakness.
Start cool, stay cool.
Let others get heated up. If you are feeling nervous, how do you think they feel? They have to deal with you.
Pressure sharpens the blade
Expensive knives need constant care and sharpening. The most common mistake people make when sharpening a knife is not using enough pressure. They go too soft.
The greater the pressure the sharper the knife.
You also need a lot of pressure to stay sharp. That is the only way to improve. There are a lot of dull knives in the kitchen, the sharpest one gets all the work done. Most people run from pressure but when you are the best at what you do, you do not run from it.
You crave the pressure. You run to it just like a firefighter runs into a burning house or a soldier running towards the combat. You can’t succeed without the ability to manage pressure. Your level of success is defined by how well you embrace it and manage it.
No one puts more pressure than elite competitors put on themselves. It never subsites. It never ends. Not only is everyone waiting for you to fail, you have your own thoughts about how long you want to compete, win, and improve.
Most people get distracted by pressure from others. The pressure of a cleaner comes from within, not from the competition, the media or the outside world. You can’t put more pressure on them that they put on themselves. A cleaner controls the pressure he feels and never looks to anyone else to help him control it.
The greats take nothing for granted because nothing was ever given to them. They never assume they will stay on top. They prove to themselves every day that they still got it. As soon as they stop they know they will no longer be on top. They have earned it all and they want to keep it.
Compete against yourself
A lot of great businesses go under because they underestimate the competition but when you are great you do not study the competition, the competition studies you.
If you are already on top, don’t reach down to their level. Don’t make it about them, let them chase you. Whatever they throw at you, you will be ready. Every win, every success, and every championship is not about beating the other guy. It is about winning for themselves and reaching for a perfection that can never be achieved.
Michael Jordan would only look at three things on the stat sheet – turnovers, fouls, and missed free throws. Michael said “I am supposed to score, get assists, and rebounds. I am not supposed to get turnovers, fouls and miss free throws.” He would compete against himself harder the next game to improve.
A cleaner benefits everyone but don’t believe for a minute he is doing it for anyone else. He wants the whole team to succeed but the reality is if he does well, everyone does well. There is no chance everyone else will win if he doesn’t. True for athletes and CEO’s.
The greats don’t worry about having it all because they have it all as long as they stay on top. Athletes should not worry about building their brand. When they win something, the brand is going to build itself If you care more about buying that car than improving, you won’t have that car for long.
The challenge is not whether you will do it, the challenge is how many times you will do it. Each time better than the last.
Your greatest battle
Tim Grover has experienced enough impossible things to realize that nothing is impossible. That is why he only trains athletes and not Hollywood celebrities. Everything that Tim Grover does is about performance. When Tim’s guys step out there, there is no makeup, script or hiding. Whatever happens is out there for everyone to see.
Actors and actresses can have their flaws airbrushed out while athletes have nowhere to hide. Tim Grover loves that pressure and loves getting these athletes ready for it.
Every dream and fantasy that you have is not just a dream. Your instincts are telling you it can be real. Follow those visions, dreams, and desires by believing what you know. Only you can turn those dreams into reality.
Never stop until you do.
The greatest battles that you will fight will always be with yourself and you always have to be your toughest opponent. Always demand more of yourself than others demand of you. Be honest with yourself and meet every challenge with confidence and a deep belief that you are prepared for anything.
Life can be complicated, the truth is not.
Every single move, thought, idea and action I take takes me further than anyone else has gone before me and makes me better than anyone in the world at what I do. Be a cleaner. Go and Get it.
If you would like to learn more about exceptional individuals like Tim Grover, visit mitjadolinsek.com.